Recap: BATB S4E8

Love is a Battlefield

Vincent decides to play "double agent" and even gets himself a partner named “Vaughn”, who is disappointingly not played by Michael Vartan. Meanwhile JT sits around and does stuff on his computer while realizing he doesn't want Tess to move on and Cat meets the new suit of the week... who is a woman. So at least they are going for gender equality [because suits don’t seem to be going for much else].

Welcome to the BatB-Universe, where watching the episodes is never enough and characters have to constantly talk about everything that has passed and will pass in an endless recapping loop. Why oh why do they keep explaining the plot?! That’s what the “previously on BATB” section is for! [I am starting to think that this recapping overload is almost as bad as in Shadowhunters A.K.A the worst show on Earth - yes, I hate-watch it. Yes, I’m ashamed].

Anyway, Vincent is still at Graydale [but Tahmoh is not- snif],  trying to become a Beast hunter but he has to prove his loyalty as a Graydale agent first. Basically, Vincent is knowingly working for the enemy, hoping to destroy them from the inside, while going on missions to retrieve rare random artifacts. In other words, V thinks he is Sydney Bristow [You didn’t think I’d make it through an entire season without Alias references, did you?].

On a related note, I still don’t quite get what Graydale Securities’ deal is. I am assuming they are some sort of “mercenaries for hire” type organisation with clients ranging from rich crooks to foreign governments. But… it is a bit unclear. Also… who the hell runs that company? Who is funding it? How does it operate under the radar? Vincent just walked through the front door and their HQ didn’t seem all that secret [They weren’t even masquerading as a bank!]

Elsewhere, looks like Tess is finally moving on, but not if Heather has anything to say about it. Since V is gone playing double agent and maybe-Evil-Kyle is not around, Heather needs a project. So getting JT & T back together is her new thing. Oh Heather… you should be spying on your boyfriend instead of focusing on the superfluous and repetitive C story of the week.

But back to the UNNECESSARY UNDERCOVER MISSION OF THE WEEK [yes, these are becoming a thing]. V is paired with a sexy Graydale operative named Vaughn [Seriously, that was her name]. Their mission: to recover two watches from some rich couple at a pool party. Oh, and they have to pretend to be married, because only married people can go to parties, I suppose. As far as spy missions go, this was kind of a bore.

Meanwhile, Cat has gotten acquainted with the GIRL SUIT OF THE WEEK. She is a DHS agent determined to catch Vincent [how original]. Their interaction is basically the same as it was with ALL the 500 previous suits of the week so I won’t bother to repeat it. What’s important here is that Girl Suit and Cat track down Vincent and crash the party to arrest him/warn him. Even with all their backup, the cops utterly fail. Girl suit is attacked by 90210-spy, while Cat is pushed to the pool by V in an attempt to “maintain his cover”. Because nothing says “I am over my wife” like pushing her into a pool.

Anyway, Vincent and Vaughn retrieve the magic watches and take them back to Graydale, A.K.A "BD-6" [BD stands for ‘Beast disparu” … someone will get this joke...]. Unfortunately Vaughn and her handler [or whoever that guy is supposed to be] are still unsure about Vincent’s loyalty. What does a beast need to do to prove his loyalty to a not-so-underground-evil-organization? Guess pushing cops into pools is not enough after all…

In summary, Vaughn is instructed to test V’s loyalty “one way or another”. Since this episode was one big fat cliche-fest, I was expecting Vaughn to try to seduce him. Luckily that didn’t happen. Her plan was simply to test him during the second part of their “spy mission” [if we can even call it that]. Basically, assassin and the beast use the magic twin watches to gain entrance to one of those high tech intelligent houses to steal… something [let’s face it, it doesn’t really matter]. Vaughn purposefully sets off a silent alarm so the security guard catches them in the act. She asks Vincent to kill the guard in order to prove his loyalty. And he does… for like 2 seconds. As soon as Vaughn is distracted, V goes into Macgyver mode and resurrects the guard with a homemade defibrillator. Someone said FLATLINING?

So, while V is backtracking on his latest unintentional murder, Cat arrives to the house and gets into a fight with Vaughn. The confrontation culminates with Vaughn falling onto her own knife. I guess Cat didn’t technically kill her [except she kinda did], but she is shockingly unaffected by it. Not that I was particularly attached to Vaughn, but still...  

Anyhow, at that point, Vincat can hear sirens approaching, so V escapes to “maintain his cover” [because a dead partner screams loyalty duh] and Cat returns to the DHS to maintain her cover. Vincent and Cat are the worst undercover agents ever and yet everyone seems to believe them. I feel this incredible need to send them an assorted DVD collection including The Americans, The Departed, Nikita and, yes of course, Alias.

The episode ends with a secret Vincat rendezvous in the tunnels, which was sort of sweet, but also incredibly stupid. I mean… how on earth did they get a bed down there? And why would they bring nice linens? Seriously…

Random Thoughts

• The “femme fatale” plot was super lazy storytelling, in my opinion. At least Annalynne McCord can play a moderately convincing bitch which is much more than can be said about Amber.
• If you think about it, Heather doesn’t get the best lines. However, Nicole really makes the most of every delivery. Good for her.
• I have to say, even the stolen kisses moments are becoming old, because they happen 5 times per episode and are accompanied by the same dialogue every time “We can’t do this anymore” “But I am innocent” “We must find another way” “Love you blah blah”
• At the intelligent house of unimportant missions, V sends Vaughn to check the elevator. I am assuming  he could hear Cat’s heart and knew it was her, so… not very nice to send an assassin after your wife, is it? Even if you need some space to resurrect someone. Guess we can take it as a vote of confidence on Cat’s skills?
• Final Alias reference, I promise. The girl fight towards the end was almost like an Alias’s abridged best stunts. Think about it.. It started like a poor man’s version of the epic Syd/Francie fight from S2 finale and then ended like the Snowman fight [without the emotional impact]. Seriously, watch them and tell me if they are not similar.