RECAP: Beauty and the Beast – Season 2 Episode 9 – Don’t Die on Me

Don’t take the dying man to the second location

Tori realizes her aspirations to start a Poodle clothing line never prepared her for more practical stuff, like being a Beast nurse. Cat is not in this episode, so we have to watch Alternate-Cat do very confusing stuff. There is an antique shop, a funky skeleton and a couple of Beast-Hunting-Lawyers with an Indiana Jones complex. Confused yet? Luckily, Spoiler alert: Vincent doesn’t die on anyone.

This was the first episode the CW aired after the winter hiatus and it is CLEARLY one of those situations where the powers that be decide they need “new viewers”; so they task the writers with making an episode where EVERYONE keeps REPEATING FACTS WE ALREADY KNOW! In my experience these “recap” episodes don’t even attract new viewers because they are boring and they just annoy loyal fans. 

And that was not my only issue with “Don’t Die on Me”. The entire episode felt like I had fallen into a parallel universe where everything that happened before [including the previous episode] never happened and some of the characters were acting like different versions of themselves. You’ll see what I mean.

The episode opens with Cat being interrogated by an Internal affairs FBI agent (Agent Hendricks). Just an excuse for Cat to EXPLAIN everything that happened on the last few episodes: Agent Reynolds was a rogue agent [read beast puppet master], Cat [blackmailed and] arrested him and now he is in jail for “conspiracy to commit murder” [read conspiracy to deliver the world from beasts and severe beast-memory tampering]. We are also reminded that Bob is aiming for the “criminal father of the year award” so he confessed to everything in order to keep Catherine’s name clear. Aw… nah not really. I am a little disappointed in Bob. Good morally ambiguous dads don’t “confess” to all their crimes. They scheme all the way to the grave! [While keeping their children safe].

In any case, at the PRECINCT, Cat decides to TELL Gabe exactly how she feels about Vincent. After Cat finishes SPELLING OUT all of her concerns, she suddenly decides she is ready to “move on and take her life back”. That was one quick resolution and I am so NOT buying it. Cat decides to “move on”? Fine… in like A MONTH from then! Let’s not forget she JUST SHOT Vincent and he is probably bleeding to death! Isn’t that a more pressing concern? If I shot someone… ANYONE, even someone I hated, I would be OUT OF MY MIND worrying about the possibility that I could become a “killer” at any given moment! Yet we are supposed to believe Cat deals with her emotions by simply going into a 5 seconds rant about “having palpitations”? I don’t think so. Remember how completely broken Cat was at the end of last episode? What the hell happened between then and now? As I understand it is only the “day after” and it’s not like Vincent is out of the woods! Whatever… ALTERNATE CAT’s only issue is that she “feels responsible for Vincent” eh… maybe because she deadly wounded him? Nope… not it. Cat is referring to the “MYSTERY FEELING” that will haunt her for the entire episode and she will bring up endlessly.

I wanted to Fast-forward this... that's not right

Meanwhile, at the FLOATING HOUSE OF HORRORS, Vincent is bleeding out. Removing self-healing ability? NOT the way to make a better supersoldier [yes, I am looking at you M-Li]. On top of everything, Tori doesn’t seem to be nurse material and she can’t even keep the gauze supply flowing! But in all fairness, Tori probably doesn’t have many practical skills. I keep thinking of her as a Paris Hilton type… Her biggest aspiration was probably having a Poodle clothing line or something. But I digress. Back to the episode: You know there is something terribly wrong when Vincent is shirtless, yet you still feel the urge to fast-forward the scene! Ug… Tori. Anyway, she wants to take V to the hospital, he refuses because he doesn’t want to be exposed. Tori points out that he is not a hunted man anymore; his only issue is that he is a beast and he can conceal that, but he doesn’t need to pretend that he is dead anymore. She actually has a point.

At that point, Catherine arrives at the HOUSEBOAT. Tori comes downstairs and they have a lame “Two Women, One Beast” soapy-type of confrontation. Thankfully, Vincent interrupts them and asks Tori to leave so he can talk to Catherine [yes, I cheered a little].Vincent puts on a brave face, but he is clearly in pain. Again…  ALT-CAT doesn’t seem too affected by seeing him like that, NOT OK. Remember when Cat thought Vincent died at WINDSOR TOWER? She was a wreck and she was so happy when she realized he was alive; she ran into his arms and cried! But now, ALT-CAT is more like “oh, good… you are not dead…” Just to be clear, I am not blaming Kristin here. I assume she followed the direction and script she was given [and did her best to convey emotion through her face]; but I am seriously skeptical about Cat’s supposed state of mind in this episode. I could understand Cat reaching that emotional point [of denial] a few weeks [or months] after shooting Vincent; after it was clear he wasn’t going to DIE and after having time to process things. However, it was too soon for her to be so in control.

Anyway, BACK TO THE SCENE. Vincent is upset with Cat and, although I think Cat did the right thing, it’s probably normal to feel a little crossed when someone SHOOTS YOU! Vincent tells her she chose Bob over him. Cat tells him she chose right over wrong. I think she is right [although I still don’t get why she didn’t shoot him in the leg or why she didn’t have a tranq gun]. I think Vincent also knows, deep down, that she is right. Cat basically confirms they are over and leaves. Vincent stays there, probably trying to figure out what hurts most: his gunshot wound or watching Cat leave.

Time to go back to the PRECINCT where Cat talks to Tess and basically repeats the entire conversation she just had with Gabe. “She wants to move on”, “she wants to take back her life”, “focus on her work” blah blah blah However there is “something holding her back”. What could this MYSTERY FEELING be? I wonder… Tess humors her, but she is SO NOT BUYING her “moving on” act. Tess gives Cat some sincere advice and she even brings up Joe! She remembers he existed! Maybe Gabe can talk about dead Cylon-Tyler now! Or maybe not. Gabe is actually busy escorting Internal Affairs dude; he is there to talk to Catherine. CUE tension-filled music. She is SO busted. 

Meanwhile, Tori and Vincent arrive at the GENTLEMEN’S CLUB to seek “JT’s help” because… you know, Vincent is bleeding out and all that. Which begs the question: Wasn’t it better to call JT so he went to the houseboat instead of moving the gunshot victim? Don’t take the dying man to the second location! I hope at least Tori drove him there… Anyway, Tori quickly [and a little too happily] explains that Catherine shot Vincent. He is all “yeah, Cat shot me, but it ain’t so bad… and she still loves me… I think… She’s been a little OOC in this episode, so I am a little confused”. Then Vincent asks JT to steal some blood for him. JT complies because he is a great friend and because Tori was totally going to rip him apart if he didn’t.

After JT flees the scene of the impending beast attack, Vincent starts stitching himself up. Tori suddenly proclaims that they are “in it together”. I guess they became a couple while we weren’t looking… not that I wanted to “look”.  Losing count of how many times I’ve said this but here it goes again: He killed your father! Also, forgive me if I am wrong, but even in the middle of suturing himself, Vincent didn’t seem all that pleased to be “in it with Tori”. At least that was my impression. I think this scene was meant to be sweet on some level… but… yeah, you know the rest. Luckily Tori gets a phone call that interrupts her beast-bonding efforts. For a second, I though Tori was getting a call from a friend to offer his/her condolences because… you know HER FATHER JUST DIED. But no… It was just a couple of attorneys from “Beast-Hunter & Lawson”. They called to ask Tori to sign some papers. Tori wanted to stay with Vincent and play beast-nurse but then the attorney threatens her with outing her dad as a beast, so she leaves.

Time to check back with the COMPLICATION OF THE WEEK [that has no permanent impact on the general plot and will be solved in two scenes]. Cat is at the FBI-IA INTERROGATION FROM HELL; except it is less tension filled and more blah blah inconsequential-plot talk. Basically, INTERNAL HENDRICKS is on Cat’s case because they found a bullet at the crime scene (the one that went through Vincent). So unless Cat manages to convince Hendricks that she stopped in the middle of her father/daughter roadtrip to jail to shoot a deer or something, she is screwed. Dun dun dun Conflict by the numbers. Hendricks wants to know who else was at the scene [and got shot], Gabe tries to be a Knight in fake cop armor, Cat refuses to expose Vincent and finally gets suspended. I get the feeling that Cat gets suspended ALL THE TIME, I am surprised she still has a job [and is even considered a good cop]!

Gabe is dead set on “saving” Cat. First he tries to help her by lawyering it up. He points out that even if they match the bullet to her gun [which they will], they can’t prosecute her for shooting a guy that is technically dead. That actually sounded like a good enough defense to me! But Cat is not convinced, so Gabe offers to get rid of the bullet. A morally iffy legal strategy is a NO, but destroying evidence is the way to go? Cat at least tries to argue, but Gabe reminds her “he didn’t set out to save Vincent, he set out to save her”… eh… wasn’t he endlessly blabbering about “SAVE THE CHEERLEADER BEAST SAVE THE WORLD” like a week ago? GABE = MOST INCONSISTENT CHARACTER EVER. Well… this week he just wants “redemption” and “drinks”. Hey, at least he made it clear.

At that point Tess informs them that JT got busted for stealing blood and since this isn’t a vampire show, that can only mean V is dying. Again, Cat barely registers this. At least she decides to go see him because… and I quote “she is not going to be the one responsible for killing him”. So, someone else killing him would be all right? I am just going to ignore you said that, ALTERNATE CAT, you don’t know what you are saying [or doing].

In the meantime, Tori is taking care of her legal Beast affairs. It’s time to meet the BEAST HUNTING DUO OF THE WEEK.

BEAST HUNTING LAWYERS: They may or may not be real lawyers but they certainly are evil. And I couldn't be bothered with rewinding to catch their names so I am just going to call them FRANKLIN & BASH. 

Mission: Create elaborate ruses to trick baby-beasts into signing illegal contracts for no reason and travel around the world gathering ancient beast related artifacts. So they are like beast hunters with Indiana Jones complexes [who are also lawyers?] This is a spin-off waiting to happen… OK maybe not.

Tori almost got a storyline of her own this week… almost! And, although Amber didn’t suddenly become a compelling actress, I wasn’t that annoyed by her during these scenes. I think that’s what she needed! Some story to develop her character away from the Vincat drama. Maybe then we could have empathized with her [at least marginally]. But, unfortunately, this whole Windsor Estate drama will just circle back to Vincat rendering Tori superfluous once again.  

So, the BEAST HUNTING LAWYERS want Tori to sign some dubious papers relating to an “antique store”. The whole thing screams “inheritance scam” if you ask me. Tori starts asking questions, which was smart on her part [see? I am going easy on my Tori hate today]. However, the lawyers fail to come up with a reason to convince Tori to waive her rights to the antique shop she never knew she had [she is probably already thinking she might find some cool vintage jewelry in there]. The scene takes a seriously weird turn when Franklin starts describing Tori in a nutshell: “You spoiled brat, Daddy can’t protect you because he is DEAD” Gee… Even I thought that was a little harsh. Then Bash PULLS A GUN on Tori. WHAT THE HELL? Tori beasts out and runs away. I am very confused with this. If these guys were planning to get whatever they wanted at gunpoint … why go through that entire legal mumbo jumbo charade? Why didn’t they just start the negotiation by pointing a gun at Tori? [In a dark alley?]

On the other side of town, Tess gets JT out of jail and pretends to be taking him to “booking” along with the stolen blood. We know neither JT nor the blood ever make it back to any precinct… which raises some serious concerns about NYPD procedure. Like everything else on this episode this scene has some ON THE NOSE dialogue. Basically, Tess tells JT he is a little TOO loyal to Vincent. She does have a point... JT is all “I am just an awesome friend” but Tess concludes it “has to be something else”. So, while Cat has a MYSTERY FEELING, JT has a MYSTERY MOTIVATION.

Cat finally goes to see Vincent to verify he didn’t drop dead or anything tragic like that. She still doesn’t seem too worried but she TELLS him that “just because they are not together anymore doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about him”. Great to hear that… but my problem is that people keep “telling” each other stuff in this ep [yet their actions contradict their words]. Screenplays are supposed to tell stories primarily through images and action, not dialogue [This isn’t theatre people].

Cat suggests going to the hospital and what I liked about this scene is that Vincent tells Cat the real reason he doesn’t want to go [unlike earlier when Tori asked]. Vincent explains he doesn’t know how to live in the real world anymore. Hiding is the only life he knows. He can’t even remember what it was to be “Vincent Keller” [Aw, I can’t help feeling bad for him when he gets like this]. Cat basically tells him to “save himself” because she won’t be saving him anymore, which totally contradicts what she said two seconds ago! Right on cue Tori storms in and proclaims “Someone else knows about beasts”.

Obviously, Vincent wants to go after the beast hunting lawyers right away. Tori and Cat try to convince him otherwise, but he is too stubborn [it’s almost part of his charm... until it gets frustrating]. He tells Catherine he “is not her problem anymore” Ouch. Cat is all “Fine, I’ll just go then”. And then she tranqs him. Heh. You didn’t think Cat would be so easily deterred, did you? I liked this part. That’s the Catherine we all know and love. And yes, she “shot him… again”, but this time she was totally trying to protect him. I just wished they kept that in mind throughout the episode. Even if Cat is mad at Vincent, she can’t help wanting to keep him safe. But seriously, how many times did Cat contradict herself in this scene alone! She went from “I still care” to “you ain’t mine to save anymore” to “I am not gonna let you endanger yourself” in less than two minutes! Talk about mixed signals! In any case, after Tori is done bitching about the beast-shooting, Cat drags her to the antique store.

Meanwhile, Gabe pays a visit to Bob and essentially tells him that he is willing to do all sort of corrupt stuff to help Cat. Bob literally says “An ex-beast liking my daughter is better than a real one I guess”. In other words: “you’ll do”. Why is everyone #TeamGabe all of the sudden? Anyway, Bob offers to help. How exactly? We NEVER find out because they cut the scene there. So basically with Gabe, it’s either explaining a plan OVER AND OVER again or… not explaining it all! No middle ground.

Now time for a scene where CHARACTERS ACTUALLY HAVE APPROPRIATE REACTIONS TO STRESSFUL SITUATIONS. JT&T arrive at the club with the stolen blood and find Vincent unconscious on the couch. JT totally freaks out like the good friend he is. He checks V’s vitals and starts a transfusion. In the middle of his best-friend-freak-out, JT blurts out that Vincent might die and it will be “his fault!” Wait… what?! JT explains he was the one who put Vincent’s name on M’s list, so he is the reason he is a Beast! OMG That was a huge revelation [and the only truly interesting fact in the entire ep!] Also, it makes perfect sense! JT put his life on hold when Vincent came back and his main priority was always keeping him safe. In addition, he IS a biochemist, so being around clinical trials is totally believable. In fact, it makes SO much sense; I would even think it is possible this backstory was discussed in the early stages of the show. Tess tries to calm JT down by telling him Vincent becoming a beast also meant he saved a lot of people, including Cat [and unfortunately Tori]. At that point, Vincent abruptly wakes up and asks about Catherine and Tori.

The girls are at “CHELSEA CURIOS ANTIQUES: The ancient Beast-skeleton store”; where Tori is having the ONLY conversation she can have with Cat. So, it goes something like this: “You are Beast-racist”, “Shooting someone means break-up”, “Why are you helping him?”, “I don’t get good people with complex emotions…” I was waiting for Cat to say something like “I had to shoot him but that doesn’t mean I stopped caring for him” or just tell Tori that it was “none of her business”; but, instead, she just says “I don’t know… it’s the MYSTERY FEELING which may or may not be guilt… but I am not ready to figure it out yet”. Ug, enough with the MYSTERY FEELING! JT already shared his MYSTERY MOTIVATION and that was actually interesting!

At that moment, FRANKLIN THE FEMALE BEAST HUNTING LAWYER arrives and starts making some dramatic declarations. In summary, she needs Tori alive, but Cat is disposable. Cat’s all “I am a cop! Without a gun and a badge, fine I am a suspended cop… still counts!” Franklin EXPLAINS they knew Daddy-Windsor was a beast but just found out about Tori. And that they were hired to find out what Windsor was hiding in there. Again… what was the point of the corporate-paper-signing-charade when they could have just abducted Tori and GO THERE? What if she HAD signed the papers? That wasn’t going to open the damn biometric lock! Tori points out that the “retinal scanner won’t work if they kill her” [couldn’t they just take out her eye? Just a thought], so Franklin threatens to kill Cat instead. Tori is probably thinking “fine by me”. OK, in her defense, she actually looked like she didn’t want Cat to die… and that’s quite an accomplishment for her so… let’s cut her some slack in this scene.

In the meantime, thanks to the UNEXPLAINED PLAN, Gabe breaks into the BALLISTICS LAB using a code I assume Daddy Bob gave him [how he got it? No idea]. Gabe uses his locator powers and finds the bullet in like two seconds. He switches it with another bullet and leaves. Luckily the FBI doesn’t seem to have ANY security cameras to prevent evidence tampering. Good for corrupt pseudo cops like Gabe.

Back at WINDSOR’S BELIEVE IT OR NOT ANTIQUE SHOP, Tori gets her retina scanned and a secret storage door opens. Everyone is shocked. BEAST HUNTING LAWYERS seem happy. They decide to send Cat ahead to “explore” the contents of the mystery storage room. Cat tries to free herself, they shoot at her, Tori closes the door and locks Cat inside.

With nothing else to do, Cat decides to look around the storage room, which looks more like a crypt or a dungeon. She finds a humanoid skeleton with a collar around its neck.  Outside, Tori is having a hard time handling the lawyers and their back-up team. I like Tori the best when she is in Beast-mode… but I was probably watching her stunt double for most of this scene… so… there’s that. At that point, Vincent arrives. He is in supercharged beast mode [and he didn’t even touch Tori, so how do you explain that? #murkytriggerlogic]. Long story short, Vincent kills everyone and saves the day. However, after neutralizing the danger, he collapses because he remembers he is wounded.

Tori gets Cat out of the storage room and she gets a worried look when she sees Vincent, but she doesn’t rush to his aid or anything! She just picks up her phone and very calmly calls 911. Seriously, Cat’s reaction is a 180 from the previous episode and I don’t like it at all! I don’t care how much a person DECIDES and PROCLAIMS it’s time to “move on”, you don’t get rid of all emotions/reactions in one day! Vincent also seems hurt by Cat’s lack of reaction. Cat asks for an ambulance, gives Tori some pointers and then just walks away. Kristin did the best she could conveying emotions with her face. She looked hurt, worried and conflicted, but she needed more. It seriously felt like I was watching a different show. This is not who Cat is. The ambulance arrives and Vincent is rushed to the hospital with Tori… and Cat doesn’t even go with them! The hell… at the very least she should have gone to make sure she didn’t commit murder!

Meanwhile, AGENT HENDRICKS is discovering that Cat isn’t totally busted after all… because the bullets don’t match. But who the hell cares at this point, Vincent is in the hospital! Then we get a shot of some cute dogs at the antique shop and the skeleton is still there… OK… that was informative… NOT. What was the point of that scene?

Vincent wakes up in the hospital and you can tell he is disappointed that the woman sitting in front of him is Tori and not Cat. I am disappointed too V. Tori gives him the war hero/closeted Beast pitch again. Vincent doesn’t have much of a choice since the cops already took his fingerprints. If they have his fingerprints… Shouldn’t the Ashley Webster murder popped up in the system and raised some questions? But OK, debate for another day.

Speaking of Cat, she is at her house drinking a cup of Joe like she has finally found peace. The hell… You don’t go from hysterically crying over someone almost dying in an explosion to calmly accepting you fatally wounded and almost killed that same person in the span of 24 hrs! And no, it’s not enough to write a lame line about Cat “calling the hospital” to verify Vincent didn’t die! Gabe comes to Cat’s apartment and even he is confused as to why Cat is so over Vincent all of the sudden. Cat explains she had an epiphany at the ANTIQUE STORE and she suddenly figured out the MYSTERY FEELING that wasn’t allowing to let go of Vincent.

And the MYSTERY FEELING was… That Cat felt grateful and in debt to Vincent for saving her life countless times. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT? Cat is grateful? She felt like she owed Vincent her LIFE? And it took her an entire episode to figure that out? Not only it was blatantly obvious but it is total B.S! Of course Cat felt grateful to Vincent, of course she felt like she owed him her life! But that was NOT what their relationship was about! And that was NOT what should have been preventing her from moving on. I understand being indebted to Vincent was probably a big part of her feelings at the beginning … but their relationship transcended that a long time ago! She was not with him because he “saved her life”, she was with him because she fell in love. She loved him beyond reason which is WHY it was so hard to let go even after he descended into darkness! To say that that love was superseded by a feeling of “gratitude” was just stupid! And this is the one plot point in the season that I just can’t condone or understand AT ALL.

Basically Cat tells Gabe that since she saved Vincent now they are even… she also kinda shot him before that, so I don’t know how even that makes them… Then Cat points out that Vincent saved Tori too, so he isn’t her exclusive savior anymore and she can let go. Again… more B.S. First, Vincent didn’t go to the ANTIQUE STORE to “save Tori”. He knew both of them were there, so we don’t even know what his main motivation was [it could have been Cat]. Second, Vincent was always saving people other than Cat, so it’s not like she was the only one. She was special to him for other reasons. Unlike a lot of people I didn’t feel Cat was out of character throughout the season, I understood most of her motivations… Even when she was doing stupid things, I understood what drove her to those bad decisions. However, it is this one episode where I can’t figure her out. So… I just choose to ignore all of this ever happened. This was not Cat, it was Alternate-Cat.

T: I'll be right behind you/ V: Meh...

BACK AT THE HOSPITAL Vincent gets ready for his “Look I am alive” press conference. Tori is all “You can do this, I’ll be right behind you” and Vincent is all “Meh”, which I LOVED! I really have to stop here and give Jay some recognition. I think he managed to find moments of meaning in between the lines [because I doubt they wrote all of his reactions]. I loved his reaction to Tori’s proclamation of support, and his face when he wakes up at the hospital and the way he looks at Cat when he is lying on the floor of the antique’s shop.

So Vincent and his bathrobe [which is so humongous it should be considered a separated entity] go outside to talk to the reporters. “My name is Vincent Keller” [why omit the Ryan? I don’t know!] END OF EPISODE.

In case you couldn't tell, I am just going to come out and say it. This is my LEAST FAVORITE episode ever. I think most people have issues with at least part of season 2. Some say they couldn’t watch it until episode 15 or something… I am not that extreme. I wasn’t crazy about the first few episodes, but after rewatching them I realized they had lots of great moments [and some episodes were even great]. I also think the season got on track around episode 11… so… I actually only had major issues with episodes 8, mostly 9 and I questioned the overall plot of 10 [although I think it is a good episode on a standalone basis]. So it was not that bad [for me]. It felt like I suffered for a lot longer… probably due to the hiatus. But objectively looking at it… I liked most of the episodes and even loved some. However, I felt they missed the mark tremendously with this one.

So, I guess what I am saying is… the beastie hard times are nearly over! And I may be hard... but, in the end, I love the show. Looking forward to the next few weeks! Leave a comment and let me know what you think. Maybe you found some good in this episode that I failed to see…  

MORE RECAPS

QUOTES

JT: Blood? You mean like O-positive Beast?

JT: This from my fellow body snatcher?

Vincent [to Catherine]: You shot me? .. Again?